Cosmic Chats · Episode 03
Indra's 4 PM Session
in which the King of Heaven attends therapy and the Universe's biggest gossip happens to be in the waiting room
Swarga Wellness Clinic. Waiting room. Soft sitar muzak. A fern that is definitely sentient.
I
Indra Dev
*pretends to read a magazine*
Narad. Why are YOU here.
N
Narad Muni
Devraj! What a coincidence. I was just... tuning my veena. In the therapy clinic. Where you have a standing appointment. Every Tuesday.
I
Indra Dev
It is NOT therapy. It is executive coaching.
N
Narad Muni
*innocent smile*
Of course, Devraj. And the apsara situation last week was... corporate restructuring?
I
Indra Dev
Listen. When a rishi does too much tapasya, the entire cosmic balance gets affected. Sending Menaka was a PRECAUTION.
N
Narad Muni
Vishwamitra. Menaka. Shakuntala happens. Now Kalidas writes a whole play about it. Devraj, you are literally the reason Sanskrit literature exists.
AWKWARD PAUSE
I
Indra Dev
Okay FINE. Maybe — MAYBE — I overreact when someone does tapasya. But put yourself in my chair! Every century someone wants my throne!
N
Narad Muni
Devraj. Nobody wants your throne. The throne is a HR nightmare. The benefits are bad. The job security is worse.
I
Indra Dev
...really?
N
Narad Muni
Bhai. Have you SEEN the resignation letters? Bali wanted it, lost it. Nahusha got it, became a snake. Even YOU lost it twice. The throne is cursed real estate.
I
Indra Dev
So what am I supposed to do? Just... let rishis become more powerful than me?
N
Narad Muni
*leans in*
Devraj. The rishis don't want your job. They want moksha. You are sending apsaras to people who are literally trying to LEAVE the system.
I
Indra Dev
...oh.
I
Indra Dev
...OH.
N
Narad Muni
Devraj, your session is in five minutes. Tell the coach I said hi. And maybe — MAYBE — cancel the next apsara dispatch?
I
Indra Dev
...you planned this whole hallway conversation didn't you.
N
Narad Muni
Narayan Narayan. I am just a humble veena player who happened to be passing through. Three times. With snacks.
[the sentient fern, who has been listening, quietly attains enlightenment]
End